It is probably true to say most people marry with the intention to stay together for life. No one gets married expecting to divorce. I never thought I would end up divorced, but did and the statistics tell us that now in the western world about half of all marriages end in divorce. The consequences of divorce are immense, not only for the couple but also for their children and family. Divorce is a subject which arouses intense emotions and debate. This is understandable as today many of us know of a family member or a friend who has been divorced. You may have experienced divorce yourself, as I have. Maybe you are deeply unhappy in your marriage and contemplating divorce as the only way out. Perhaps you are separated but not formally divorced or in fact divorced and remarried.

If you have been divorced, you will know it to be one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences one can endure. The emotional pain can be like the death of your spouse and for some it is worse.

If you are not divorced I hope what you read here will encourage you stay faithful to your marriage despite whatever difficulties you may encounter. Separation may be warranted (as Paul indicates in 1 Corinthians 7:11) where there is physical or psychological abuse to yourself or your children but I would encourage you to remain faithful, hope for repentance and work for reconciliation (more on abusive situations here). God’s grace, strength and peace are sufficient even in what may seem a hopeless situation. That I can say from personal experience.

What you will read here has been born out of life experience, not just theology. It is in two parts: 1. the personal journey through divorce and 2. a Biblical examination of the question 'Is there a right to divorce and remarry?' If you are considering divorce, separated or divorced it is my hope you will gain a clearer and deeper perspective and avoid the snares which often accompany divorce so that you might not only avoid or survive divorce but find God's love and peace in greater measure. By God's grace you may even find reconciliation with your husband or wife as I did after an intervening period of many years.


Part 1: A Personal Journey and Reflection

A Journey Through Divorce: Grief, Anger, Depression and Loneliness

Reality Check: The Impact of Divorce

The Best Way


The Fear of Being Single

For Those Who Have Remarried


Part 2:

Is There a Biblical Right To Divorce and Remarry?


My sincere thanks to Derek Stancombe, David Fleming, Andrew Cornes and John Staer for their encouragement, constructive criticism and invaluable comments.

Unless otherwise indicated Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright
1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by
permission. (

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright; 2001
by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Photo Credit: Andrew Brown
In the aftermath of a Western Australian bushfire new life grows, symbolising that out of the trauma of divorce there is hope and life in Christ.